Sunday, September 19, 2010

God has you where he wants you

The best words I have heard all day “God has you where he wants you”. Honestly, I have had such a mix of emotions today. Excitement, sadness, peace, unsettled, giddy, frustrated, and loved…all these things I have felt at least once today. And it is not just because the Vikings lost again today, although, don’t get me wrong, that did bother me. I’m beginning to wonder why I decided to become a fan of my favorite team. I’m sure some of my rollercoaster of emotions has to do with my hormones still returning after my miscarriage not even two weeks ago. Feeling loved today had much to do with my wonderful friends and lovely neighbors, starting out at church, continued with a football get-together and ending with friends for dinner, kids in the tub, and a movie.

Sadness was felt when I thought of not being pregnant anymore and while I was putting make-up on I held my mascara in my hand for five minutes before I put it on. I was too afraid that once I put it on, the tears I could feel welling up behind my eyes would pour out and leave black streaks down my face. Surprisingly, I really hadn’t thought about it a lot the past couple days but I sure was at this point.

I was giddy and excited, practically skipping around a house today that might be put up for sale, dreaming of my friend moving in and how we could see each other whenever we wanted or trade off cooking for each other’s families…oh that would be fun, but God would have to do a lot to work that out.

Peace was felt when I read Zephaniah 3:17 “ For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs”. Oh to be reminded that God will take delight in me and will calm all my fears! How could that not bring me peace?
Then several hours later being unsettled and frustrated set in and I am not even sure why, but I could feel it in my chest. Fighting to remind myself that God’s timing is perfect and he loves me more than enough that he will allow my heart to hurt because he has something better for me, but I was losing the fight. I sat at my dinner table chair with my knees tucked up under my neck and sighed a big disheartened sigh. My husband looked at me and I started saying stuff like “I know God…but why” or “I just don’t understand how…” Sometimes I am so much better at fighting this and my heart is more guarded, but tonight I let the enemy take a couple shots at me. This is when my husband said “That’s the enemy. Don’t let him do that. The reason he is doing that is because God has you right where he wants you. He has a plan for us and we are being obedient. We are right where God wants us”. WOW! That’s all I needed to hear. I felt a weight lifted off me. I felt so encouraged and alive again! God has a plan for me! I have a relationship with God and he cares for me! That’s cool! I feel loved all over again today!


  1. Dear Tonee,

    God is doing a work in your life and teaching you many things. Most of all He is teaching you how to stand in His word when things are right in your world. What a blessing that you have Kyle that also fortifies you when you need it. I often think about God smiling and singing over me. He loves us and takes joy in what He is creating and doing in our lives. I love you and I pray you have a day full of His presence!

  2. Love this, Tonee. I recently wrote about Zephaniah 3:17, too. What a great verse! It really is something calming and certain when life is anything BUT that. I continue to pray for you, friend.

  3. Thanks for the encouragement. I have been listening to this CD in my car and this verse is one of the songs they sing. Honestly, I didn't know it was a verse, but I know it well. then I stumbled across it browsing the web. I just love it. Thanks for your continued prayers. I am so thankful for my husband and his wisdome!!

  4. We'll keep praying won't we friend!? It'll be amazing to see where God will want us both in another year...more babys? new house? I know is it can be very hard living where God wants us is worth it...worth the wait ...worth waiting to see how God molds our heart to His heart and His will...and so we continue to obey. Can't wait to see what He's going to change next! Look what he's already done. :) Love you and praying with you.

  5. So true Kendra! So encouraging too! It is worth it. It will be so fun to see what's next and so glad we are in each other's lives to experience it together!