Merry Christmas! Love, The Hoffs....oh wait- we are already well into January. It's been a while since I have blogged. I think all my blogs are starting out with that same sentence. I really do have the best intentions. The holidays made things a little crazier so that could be my excuse this time. I will have to think of something better for next time. We did have a wonderful holiday season.

Christmas 2010 was spent in Memphis, TN with my mom and her family. It was wonderful. It even warmed up at the end of the week for us. We had a few days where we didn't even need jackets and that is definitely a nice change for us Northerners. My mom took the whole week off work so we could spend some quality time together. Oh my mom! There are so many wonderful things about her. In the morning I love the aroma of coffee that fills her house. That is one smell that will always remind me of my mom and my childhood. Funny that I don't like the taste of coffee, only the smell.

Other things I love about my mom are her love for thrift stores. Whenever I am with her I find good deals or get some interesting ideas. This last time I was there I bought some fun hats and recently made my girlfriends wear them out to eat :). Thrift store shopping is one of my favorite things to do in Memphis.

Another fun thing we seem to do when I am with my mom (and my little sister) is jumping pictures. My mom is getting pretty good at them too. She probably can't believe she gets sucked into doing them. It has now become a tradition and I hope it continues. They never get old for me to go back and look at. Maybe someday I will do jumping pictures with my kids when they come to visit :)

My mom can be goofy and funny and embarrassing, but my mom also has some of the best advice and words of wisdom. She is encouraging and inspiring. She loves with a very big, giving heart. She is a hard worker. Put her in a job and I guarantee she will do it 110%. Sure, my mom has her faults but her strengths far outweigh them. She is also a very loving "mimi".

Back in Mchigan. Things are the "usual" busy here. The big boys are back in school and Sawyer is now potty trained, well, for the most part. Brody makes cleaning almost impossible. He messes up faster than I can pick up. There are days when he takes my motivation away completely. When that happens, I scoop him up in my arms and snuggle with him on the couch. I do not look forward to the day where he grows too big for that. Grandma and Papa are visiting this weekend! We are so happy about that! Since I have the BEST in-laws in the world it's going to be a great weekend.

Until the next blog...

A little something...

Today I went into Halmark and saw this ornament. I wasn't looking for any ornaments. I think we have about 400 already on our big tree alone. I just thought this was a perfect "little something" to remember the baby we lost this year. A little angel, just like our baby. I'm not trying to be too dramatic. I like to stay positive, while still allowing enough room to grieve. I try not to think about that pregnancy too much or remember how far along I would be. I feel pretty good about the whole process. I am thankful for my body and its ability to have carried my four healthy boys. I am also thankful for a God who knows me and loves me. I feel like things are going pretty well for me emotionally. Last week I felt a little off just not knowing what was happening with my body as it was still recovering from the miscarriage. I went to the doctor and had everything checked out. It's looking good and right on track even though it feels like it has taken forever.

Otherwise, not much going on around here. We went to the Children's museum and had fun taking some pictures in the kalidescope. My boys are so much fun! We spent the week getting up most of our Christmas decorations. Every morning, before I get up, Pierce plugs in all the tree and garland lights. It feels very cozy when I finally make my way downstairs. I love getting ready for Christmas and I love, even more, that my kids love it too!

"Papa and Grandma" were in town last weekend. What a blessing to have them here! The boys LOVE having them to play with all day long. I am so glad we have them as family! I know I am a little bias, but I feel like I have the best in-laws in the world!

That's about it for now! Hoping to have something fun to report soon!

Just another day...

My family

I haven't blogged in a while and I have had a lot on my mind, but not a whole lot worth writing about honestly. However, I did plan on blogging more frequently when I started this. That means that today I will blog and as uninteresting and unoriginal as it might be, I've decided to write about my day.

 One of my favorite things, recently, is getting up on Sunday mornings and getting to be on the worship team, at church, with my husband. I love to worship by singing and doing it as a family is even better! This morning Kyle and I woke up early, got showered and dressed, packed a bag for the little guys, woke them up and got them dressed, made sure they had breakfast (and made sure I had my Diet Coke) and we were out the door by 7:30, heading to church. We were supposed to be there at 7:30, but I thought we did pretty well. Being part of a church family has been a huge blessing to us. While we were up on stage during second service, I looked down at my 2 year old and he was raising his hand, praising God. It was like a little hug to my heart. It was a reminder how impressionable he is and how he really wants to be like mommy and daddy. That single moment had to be my favorite of the whole morning. The sermon was good too! My heart had been a little heavy the past couple days. I know God has the perfect plan, I know he loves me more than anyone else, I know he cares for me today and always, I know, I know, I know....but today I just didn't feel it in my heart. I prayed. I worshiped. God is awesome and capable of handling me even when I am stubborn and want things the way I want them. It's so funny that I still struggle with letting go of my plans when I've seen how they've turned out without seeking God for the right direction.




Brody my little fireman.



After church it was lunch. The boys were hungry and tired and we were a little short on cash, so McDonald's was the restaurant of choice. Luckily I never watched all those videos people were posting on Facebook about how McDonald's burgers are made or how they don't digest (?) well and can live in your stomach forever. Denial? Maybe, but I'm okay with that because we don't frequent McDonald's, except for sweet tea, and don't most Americans experience McDonald's every once in a while? Either way, the boys loved it and ate well.

Sawyer and "the look"

Naptime and football was next at the Hoff home. Two things that go so well with a Sunday afternoon. I would have stayed to enjoy them both had I not decided to go hit up a couple bargain stores. I saw an opportunity to get out of the house without kids, so I took it. I found some great deals and was able to get some Christmas shopping done. At Aldi I bought an 18 pound turkey and at the Meijer outlet store I and found all sorts of things. Next, I hit up the Dollar Tree for some ovulation and pregnancy tests. I got so excited that I only have to spend a dollar on each one, before I knew it I put way too many in my cart. Okay, so maybe I had 10 ovulation tests and 5 pregnancy tests. I personally didn't think that's extreme but when I got up to the register, with about 10 people behind me, the cashier smiles and says loudly "Is this some kind of joke or something?". At this moment I even think I am weird, but we ended up having a long conversation about how Wal-mart also has good deals on pregnancy tests and how my husband and I are going to be trying for our next one. Now everyone who was waiting in line also knows I will be having sex this month in order to "try" for our next baby. It was a little awkward and I was so glad to get out of there.

My next stop was to the Christian book store for a book I never ended up finding, but I did find some great Christmas CD's. While I was checking out I started looking through the different pictures of kids that are looking for sponsors through World Vision. Kyle and I had talked about sponsoring one before, but I hadn't felt peace about it before. Today I did. I asked her who I should pick and she handed me the picture of a little boy named "Danny" from Bolivia. He had just had a birthday and she really wanted him to have a special birthday present. I felt peace about sponsoring this little boy. I am excited to write him letters and for the boys too as well. He doesn't have any siblings. He's so cute I just want to squeeze his cheeks! We've already prayed for him a lot today. At Christmas time we get a catalog so that we can buy him some chickens or a goat for a present! I guess that is a big deal there! We're excited to bless him and pray for him, so I guess you could kind of say he's the newest member to our family. The cashier told me we were the first person to sponsor a child there in over 30 days!

 Once I got home, I started downloading and listening to my new Christmas music. I loved it! I get so excited for Christmas. I really don't know why. It is, by far, my favorite time of year. My mom made a lot of little traditions around Christmas so special. They weren't expensive traditions, just memories we'd make year after year. They are the most precious of all my childhood memories. Baking cookies, decorating, Christmas caroling (which I did hate sometimes), Favorite holiday movies, hot chocolate in the mornings before school...all small but wonderful! I try and hold off even listening to the music before November, but this week I just couldn't. My Pandora radio was on almost every day playing Christmas classics. At least I wasn't decorating....but then I just had this little urge to pull out a few things.

And then the urge got a little bigger, but not too big. Oh my husband is just wonderful! He understands and loves me and puts up with me, and sometimes I even think he likes it a little.



Our play room. The fish were there already.



Now I do know this is not normal, and this is the earliest I have ever decorated. I have a lot more decorating to do, but I will wait until November. I did all this while we watched the Vikings lose to the Packers. I don't know how the game ended because I was too stressed to watch. My husband wanted to tell me about it, but I just couldn't bring myself to hear about it. I really did have a wonderful day! Looking forward to this week. My numbers are back to 0 so we have the "OK" to start trying again for our next baby. We've been praying for God to prepare our hearts for what he has planned for us. Hoping that his plans for us will mean a baby sooner than later. I know whatever his plan is, it is perfect.



Random pic to make my blog less boring.



How I Met My Husband...

I was just thinking this morning how blessed I am to have Kyle in my life. He is so much more than I could have dreamed my husband would be. Sure, there are times when we have disagreements and lots of times where he does things I think are a little weird. My life is not perfect, by any means, but God has blessed me in so many ways by allowing Kyle to be my husband.

I was thinking about when we first met. We actually met because of myspace! My best friends here were his friends as well. Kyle lived in Minnesota so he was a couple states away but kept in touch with our friends enough for me to have noticed him. I didn’t think much about it, but I thought it was cool he was from Minnesota since I grew up there. Oh, and I thought he was cute too, but that is as far as I took it. I had decided I wasn’t going to date anymore until I was sure God was making it very clear that it was okay. Little did I know, Kyle was already pursuing me and was planning a trip to Michigan to meet me on my birthday, if God would allow it. And little did he know what he was getting into. J


Me and my bible study on my birthday the night I met Kyle. Only picture I have from that night :)

 So August 18, 2006 my bible study took me out to Logan’s for my birthday. I didn’t even know Kyle was already in town and was staying at Carol and Isaiah’s (our mutual myspace friends). I told Carol, during my birthday party, that I was going to sleep at her house, which I really liked to do as often as I could. They were my family here. Carol was like my sister and that meant I could just invite myself over for a sleepover. Carol’s response surprised me. She said she had to check with Isaiah first. I thought that was interesting, but Isaiah said yes and I didn’t even think about it again that night. We pulled into Carol’s driveway and there is where I met my future husband. I remember getting out of the car and meeting Kyle and then I said “Do you want to see my presents?” I now know that Kyle thought, at that moment, I was shorter than what he thought I would be and I talked more than he thought I wouldJ. It was one of the best birthdays I had so far. We played hide-and-go-seek in the dark. I remember hiding with Carol and laughing so hard I almost wet my pants. I remember having so much fun just being myself. I remember staying up late and comparing myspace pages with Kyle. We also talked about God and I remember Kyle telling me a story about Peter in the bible. That night I finally understood what Carol was telling me about me waiting for a Godly man. Not just a man that believed in God and went to church, but a man who had a real relationship with God. Kyle changed all my expectations that night for what I dreamed of for my future husband. Not once that night did I ever think it would be Kyle. That’s exactly how God wanted it to be!


Me and one of my best friends in the world, Carol- one of the reasons Kyle and I met!

I saw him one other time that weekend and when I was saying goodbye to Kyle, he handed me one of his band’s CDs (Cathode Rae). I listened to it right away and then thought maybe it would be cool if my future husband could sing and play guitar too J. Then I decided that didn’t have to be a priority but a nice bonus if God would bless me with that. I knew God had the perfect person for me, but at that moment my heart really longed to be God’s alone. I knew there would be a time where God would allow me to fall in love but I was going to be patient. 

This is how little the boys were when Kyle met them.



The next week I spoke with Carol and she mentioned that she thought Kyle was interested in me. I didn’t think so at all. What on earth would a guy with a good job, who was good looking, who loved God with all his heart and was in a band (smile) want a damaged girl who had a past, had kids and who was divorced. I knew God loved me just as I was and I wasn’t ashamed anymore of the person I was. I believed I was a new person because of God’s grace and forgiveness. I loved myself again but I told Carol I didn’t think she was right on this one.



Kyle and I on my trip to Minnesota.

Kyle and I emailed each other over the month. I had a wedding to go to in Minnesota in September, so we planned to hang out there a couple days. On September 7 we had our first date, although neither one of us would dare call it a date at the time. We spent the day in downtown Minneapolis and covered a lot of areas. We went to the Keys Café at the Foshay, walked around downtown, spent time talking at Lowry Park, visited the popular Cherry Spoon, and finished it off with a little bite to eat at Noodles and Company. I remember so much of that day. I felt so comfortable with Kyle and at peace. September 7 has come to be a very significant day for us. In 2009 we had our little Brody and this past year we learned of our miscarriage on this day.



Kyle continued to pursue me the rest of the year. He visited Michigan a couple times and spent time with Grant and Pierce. There was one period where we didn’t talk for three weeks! During that time God worked in both of us to prepare us for each other. He prepared Kyle’s heart to be a husband and a father and he prepared my heart to be a wife. Kyle came to Michigan to bring in the New Year and take me to our church “prom”. That weekend we started dating but no kissing until later. We knew we were going to get married and Kyle knew when, but he didn’t tell me.

The Prom



Kyle spending time with G&P before he had to fly back to Minnesota.





Kyle with the boys on our visit.

In February, I took Grant and Pierce on a road trip to Minnesota to meet Kyle’s family. We had no idea we would be welcomed and loved the way we were. Grant and Pierce fell in love with Kyle’s family and his family’s two dogs. That same week, February 9, Kyle kissed me for the first time. No making out until the engagementJ. I didn’t have to wait too much longer because on a trip to visit my mom and her family, April 9, Kyle proposed to me. It was perfect…rose petals and candles everywhere. I was so surprised too!



Some of Kyle's wonderful family!



Kyle with the boys- the first week they met Fridley.



The proposal

The next four months were a whirlwind, but they were wonderful! I had my dream wedding and married my dream man on August 11! Of course I left out so many details throughout this story. There were a lot of little miracles that happened along the way. I have saved all the myspace emails and reread them often. Now that I know Kyle I can see little things in those early emails that let me know he liked me a lotJ. God’s timing is perfect. His grace is amazing! I didn’t deserve any of what God gave me, but he gave me more than I could have dreamed. I love my hot husband! Thanks God!!

Me and Kyle being me and Kyle.

I felt like the worst parent...

Even though I know I am not, and even though sometimes things happen and I have no control over them. I only felt that way for a second but it was enough. I love my boys more than anything (besides my husband) in the world and hate when I can’t protect them from even the smallest of things. We were heading to view many pieces of artwork at the Grand Rapids Artprize. An art show where over 1200 artists find venues in the area to display their work. It’s pretty amazing. We were getting our stroller out of the van, loading up the stroller and getting warmer jackets on for the 50 degree weather. Brody has been walking for almost a month now, but he’s gotten really good at walking this past week. It took him a while to walk in pants because he learned most of his steps in the summer. He spent half the summer in shorts, the other half he was either in a diaper or naked, which seems to happen a lot around here. He conquered the pants but still has to learn how to walk in real shoes. Those little leather, slipper-like shoes is what he has been wearing. Any little thing can throw Brody off balance. I wonder why I didn't think anything of putting a giant, padded winter coat on him. I forget that even though I am a mother of four, sometimes things still seem brand new to me too!

Five minutes into our adventure and Brody's face met the concrete. The jacket added so much more weight, Brody couldn't lift his hands to break his fall.  All we heard was a thud and then tears! He instantly had a huge egg on his forhead and a scrape on and under his eye. I scooped him up in my arms and ran him to the first building I could see that might have an icepack. I was frustrated with myself, but since Kyle was standing next to him I felt an urge to blame him. I held my tongue. I think I gave him a frustrated look, but it was absolutely not his fault. When something breaks my heart, my first reaction is to want to blame someone else. I am glad God forgives even little things that go on inside of me that no one else sees. He's the best of all fathers!

 I ran to the Children's Museum. They felt so bad for Brody and ran and got him an icepack, all along commenting on how tough Brody was for not even crying one time while we were there. We are members there so we stayed a while.  Brody didn’t like the ice pack, but I don't really know one kid that does. He has a pretty good “boo boo” to show for his adventure in the medium city of Grand Rapids.

The rest of the day was great! Being in downtown when so much is going on is lots of fun. All the people created lots of energy. So many things to look at! Kyle commented on how many of his Minnesota friends would love Artprize, and how a few would be good contenders. Sawyer and Brody were snuggled in their stroller taking all the different pieces of art into their little minds. With all the venues to look at they were mostly excited about the tractors, trucks and buses that passed by on the streets. Oh, and the river! Sawyer loved seeing the river.  

We got the best deal for lunch at Quiznos- we think anyway! All four of us had meals, four drinks, chips, cookies…all for 13 bucks! Gotta love any place where kids eat free!

After lunch we saw more exhibits. We even got to go to the Public Museum. Kyle and I had our wedding reception there just over 3 years ago. We walked around and let the boys ride the caraousel just like we did the night of our wedding. They smiled many smiles going up and down. Sawyer dimples are such a joy to me. I stared at him and told myself to remember this moment while he is so happy just riding a wooden horse. We told them how the last time we rode that caraousel we had just gotten married. They were too young to really understand, but it was still fun for us to tell them. I'm sure someday they will get sick of hearing that story, but I won't ever be tired of telling them. :)



Brody doesn't like to sit still, so he's waiting for it to move :)






Love those dimples. Sawyer's smile is wonderful when it's real.

 

Finally we got to walk across the bridge and under the bridge, all so we could be closer to the river. Sawyer's one request when we told him we were going downtown. We took lots of pictures!



Still working on the posed smile. See what I mean about his real vs. fake smile?



We got to see so many different pieces of work while we were down looking around. Here are a few of the many we saw.



A giant penny made out of 80,000 actual pennies.





There were pianos set up all over, decorated differently, for enjoyment to those who wanted to play




Amazing that this is made from airsoft gun pellets.



The time we spent there was fun however, we were ready to leave after a few hours.  On our way home the boys got a quick nap, but we woke them up as soon as we got home so that they would have an early bed time. As much as we love our children, we really enjoy having a night, every once and a while, to spend together watching movies, without interruption.

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Tomorrow we get to worship at church. Kyle is playing and I am singing. We love being a part of our church. Football is in the afternoon where we are expecting the Vikings to crush the Detroit Lions. Monday I get my HCG levels checked again. Praying they keep dropping quickly! When they are fewer than 5 we can start actively trying again! We are ready to begin that journey again!