Mostly Sunny

So, how was your Easter?

2011-04-24T13:28:00.000-07:00

First let me say Praise God for this beautiful day! I love Easter and even though we were without any extended family, we have found some family traditions within the past few years that have made this holiday very special. I am so blessed with a wonderful church to celebrate at and a wonderful husband who gets up early with me (6:00 am) to put Easter eggs out for our children and some of the neighbor kids. This day was great and full of fun things!

With that said, let me also say that this Easter didn't go exactly how I would have planned, at least so far anyway. It started off just right. I get so excited to put the eggs out for the kids. Kyle and I quickly got the job done before anyone woke up. I baked muffins, Kyle got ready and I listened to worship music remembering the real reason to celebrate Easter, Jesus! I hid Easter baskets and got ready for church. I actually curled my hair today and got dressed up, a rare moment in the past few months since I have had morning sickness. I realized today that I feel less sick and that I might actually be hitting a milestone with this pregnancy. So excited for that! Kyle picked Grant and Pierce up from their dads and they arrived back home just in time for the little boys to wake up. Sawyer was excited to see all the eggs outside. Brody woke up happy, even though he coughed most of the night and he had dried snot all over his face. Everyone found their baskets and were all pleased with what was inside. We all got dressed in our Easter clothes, and although Grant complained a little, I was pleased with everyone's appearance.

This is after lunch, so not perfect, but still looking okay :)

As we were driving to church I was thinking how we might actually get there on time. That doesn't happen often when we try to make it to the first service. As I am thinking this, Brody started coughing really hard and threw up all over himself and his car seat. Of course he had on white pants and of course it was his Easter outfit, and who brings a change of clothes when it's Easter? Well, I didn't. It took me long enough to figure out what he was going to wear the first time. After Grant and Pierce gagging in the back because of the smell, and lots of wet wipes used, we got inside church, which is also Grant's middle school. I stripped Brody down to nothing but his diaper and he ran happily through the hallways while I washed his clothes in the bathroom with hand soap. I think my church family is used to our family by now because most who saw Brody just laughed like "Oh there are those crazy Hoffs and their half naked kid". With four kids, boys for that matter, this is just how we roll sometimes. With soaking wet clothes in hand I turned to someone, I think is one of the best janitors, Jerry, for help. He led me to the Home Ec. dryer. What a blessing! Problem solved.

The Easter Bunny

Brody drinking the sparkling white grape juice while waiting for our table.

So, church ended and we drove to The Grand Hotel for our, now traditional, Easter lunch. We have done this for the past 3 years now and look very forward to the wide variety of foods they offer. We enjoyed sparkling grape juice in wine glasses and had fun visiting with the Easter Bunny before we sat down. Brody would not let the Easter Bunny leave. He kept giving him hugs, like he never gets any at home. Then the bunny stood up and Brody grabbed his leg until I pried him off. With little kids things, like going out to eat, are rarely simple with our family. Our kids were really well behaved today, but Sawyer always has to go to the bathroom as soon as we sit down. It's never a quick trip either because he usually has to poop. I don't know how he plans this, but it happens often when we go out. So I took Sawyer to the bathroom. On our way back to the table we stopped at the seafood table and filled our plates with crab legs. The whole way back to our table from the seafood table Sawyer yelled "Daddy I got crabs! Daddy I got crabs" as I'm saying loudly right after him "crab legs, crab legs" in case anyone was getting the wrong idea...of course they obviously wouldn't. We sat down and five minutes later Brody starts coughing and throwing up again. Our waitresses were WONDERFUL! They provided us with everything we needed plus they went and got the Easter Bunny again to make Brody smile! I'm sure he loved hugging Brody again smelling like throw up.

I held Brody for a while and Kyle got my food. I noticed that feeling I felt earlier, where I'm not feeling sick from "morning sickness" wasn't quite there like it was, but it could have been because of the way Brody smelled. It could also have been because I was worried about Brody. He started acting lethargic so I asked him if he was okay. He then projectile vomited all over me and my new Easter dress that Shelley, my mother in law, gave me. At this point I was worried about the people around us and if they were witnessing this, were we ruining their Easter? Again, our waitresses stepped in. Brody seemed to feel much better immediately afterwards. Kyle took him on a walk, then Grant and Pierce left with Sawyer. I sat alone at my table. It was probably the nicest part of my whole meal :). I enjoyed every second of it as I drank my hot cup of tea and listened to the harpist. We headed home shortly after that and enjoyed a little Easter egg hunt in our front yard.

The little boys are now napping in their rooms, Kyle is napping on the couch, the older boys are playing their new video game Papa and Grandma gave them for Easter. I'm sitting here blogging and listening to Pandora. It's a wonderful day! We praise God for all of it! I'm so thankful for my family, my four boys and this new life growing inside me. I don't like when any of my boys are sick, of course, but I'm thankful I'm able to be their mommy and take care of them when they are. Things may not be perfect when we go out to eat, but I'm thankful for my husband who helps me take care of the chaos and the people God puts in our lives at the right moments who give us grace. I love the quiet times I get when I can sit at the table by myself and drink my tea, but I'm so thankful for the noise and activity my children bring. Things hardly ever go just as planned here, but I'm thankful for unexpected events and the ability God gives me to handle them. I feel very blessed on this Easter.

If you ever have boys, chances are they will create objects with chopsticks and empty crab leg shells, if available, quite possibly weapon related.

Bro getting ready for the egg hunt.

He picked up a couple eggs then quit to play basketball.

A nice moment on the front porch. After I snapped the picture I realized Pierce was trying to get Sawyer to give him the 2 dollars he found hidden in his eggs.

I might just blog today

2011-04-10T12:58:00.000-07:00

I have been so sick with this pregnancy that doing anything computer related made me want to throw-up and often times I did. So I took a long break and today, I think I am ready to blog again.

Me at 12 weeks

I am starting to show a little. My body is used to this by now, so it pops right out. I remember when I was pregnant with my first it took until about 20 weeks to show. I'm on some meds to help with nausea and now I feel like I can start thinking about this little baby a little more and less about what I should eat or drink so that I don't puke. We have been praying for this baby for quite some time now, but it is so cool when Kyle puts his hand on my belly and prays for his future child. It's becoming more and more real. Still, every time I have an appointment I have to fight the thoughts in my mind that something might be wrong. I just hold onto the promise God gave me that he is in charge of my life and his plans are for good, not for harm.

12 week ultra sound

We had an ultra sound on Friday. I feel pregnant because I've been so sick, but I really don't feel pregnant otherwise, if that makes sense.... When Kelly, our ultra sound tech, started the sonogram and I saw hands and arms and legs, It was amazing to know this little baby is alive and inside of me. I kept saying how cute he/she was because they were wiggling all over the place, possibly already developing his/her little personality. We took a quick peek at the boy/girl parts and we might have seen something sticking out, but that doesn't necessarily mean "boy". It was fun to guess if it was or not. After our appointment I used Kyle's phone to text a few people and I wrote "we may have seen a tiny little penis". Kyle thanked me for texting that from his phone and informed me that guys usually don't refer to their future boy's penis as "tiny little". That made me laugh. We will hopefully know in four weeks if we have a boy or a girl. We are excited!

Cousins at the beach

The rest of the family is doing well! We went to Florida over spring break to spend time with my twin sister's family. We miss them so much! I wish we lived closer. We had a lot of fun in 80 degree weather, enjoying the many fun things Florida has to offer. We even met a few new people that are wonderful. Next time we visit we hope to spend even more time with our new friends. Here are a few more pictures from our trip. Hoping to blog more frequently now that I am feeling better.

Sawyer and Kyle

Sawyer

The 6 of us with Papa and Grandma

Grant and Cobe with Timone

It's a BABY! With a Heartbeat!!!

2011-02-26T08:43:00.000-08:00

Brody is going to be a Big Brother!

I finally get to post this! I can't believe how excited I am to blog about this. I think it's because my original plan to start blogging was to blog about my pregnancy, which ended up in a miscarriage. We are not "out of the woods" yet, as we are only 6 weeks along, but we saw our little baby with his/her heart beating strong. We would appreciate all prayers to help our "little October pumpkin" grow strong and healthy! As you read my blog, you might think I am a little weird with all the different pictures. Please understand how excited I am and how much we have wanted this little blessing.

Yes, I took a picture of my pregnancy test in a plant! If you have been on any baby board you would understand that this is the first "official" recognition the newest member to the family gets and it has to be kind of unique. This became my profile picture for a while on my baby board. It's kind of a big deal! :) For this reason, I had a little "photo session" with my "pee stick"....weird I know.

Against the wall...

On the chair...

On the carpet...

I quit after Brody interrupted my photo session for obvious reasons...

How we found out: February 6, also known as Superbowl Sunday, I woke up and tested. It was a little early to be testing and of course I knew it was going to be negative. I went back to bed before the test had time to show its results. I was already disappointed thinking this wasn't our month. I prayed for about an hour and asked God to prepare our hearts for the next months of "trying". I prayed that God would give us peace and allow us perfect timing for our next baby. I asked him that if it wasn't his timing, could he please make us ready so that it could be his timing :). I fell back to sleep. I was sure surprised to see two lines when I woke up! Kyle and I praised God for that moment.

I had an ultra sound set up later that week for something they were monitoring before I found out we were expecting. It was too early to see the pregnancy. I knew that, but before I went in for that appointment I felt so much anxiety... "what if there is no baby?", "what if the baby planted itself in the wrong place and it's ectopic?"....I almost couldn't stand the feelings running through me. I sat out in the parking lot, grabbed my bible and prayed. I closed my eyes and asked God to be with me. God gave me a vision. In that vision I saw God put his arm around me, pick me up, and he told me to get excited. This is what he had planned for me and it was now time to be excited! Peace fell over me. Now, I don't know how God works. This doesn't necessarily mean everything will be perfect through this pregnancy, although that is what we are praying for. What it does mean is God is in control of my life and he has a plan and it's a plan for good and not disaster as Jeremiah 29:11 states. So, I wrote that exact verse on a sticky note and put it on my steering wheel. No matter what happened at that appointment, I would walk out and see that verse and know that God was with me. As I thought, it was too early to see anything. It was uneventful, but it prepared me for the next two weeks as we waited for the next ultra sound.

Yesterday we had that ultra sound. We saw our little baby. We saw his/her little heartbeat. I grabbed Kyle's hand and tears filled my eyes. The ultra sound tech is one amazing woman. She has been there for us through all of our ultra sounds. She prayed with us when we had our miscarriage and yesterday, she rejoiced with us as we saw our rainbow. If she were the only reason to stay at that office we would, but luckily our doctor is wonderful too. She also gave us a huge hug and was genuinely excited for us. So here is our baby! Tiny and barely recognizable we know. Due to arrive October 21, 2011! All prayers welcomed!!

Big Brothers

2011-02-24T10:36:00.000-08:00

We had two snow days this week! The boys thought it was great and so did I. I had to get this sweet picture of them reading together. They were unaware I was going to snap it. What mom couldn't love the sight of her older boys taking care of their little brothers so well? Grant and Pierce are great big brothers. More often than not they are playing with or helping Brody and Sawyer. Like in this picture below...

I know this picture is a little blurry but you can see how much fun the little boys are having while Grant pushes Brody in the doll stroller chasing Sawyer all over the house. This game is a favorite in the Hoff house. Grant and Pierce are also good at cuddling up on the couch with their brothers to watch movies.

Today I was uploading pictures on my computer and I found some of the boys when I married Kyle. I can't believe how little they were just 3.5 years ago. I think about how perfect God's timing is when he allowed Kyle to be their step-dad. They were so excited for him to be a part of our family.

I also think about the timing of God allowing Sawyer to be part of our family. It was earlier than what we were expecting, but how amazing it was for Grant and Pierce to be big brothers. With Sawyer, they were a little hesitant, but still so excited to meet him.

When Brody was born they were not the least bit shy about holding him or talking to him. I still haven't gotten them to be comfortable changing diapers yet :). God's timing of our little Brody was perfect too.

Grant and Pierce have far exceeded my expectations I had for them being big brothers. They are looking forward to doing it again. Hopefully that will be soon!

A little update

2011-02-19T20:00:00.000-08:00

Just thought I would update this blog even though I have no computer right now, only my iPad. Typing on the iPad makes things a little harder. Things here have been uneventful but good! I am realizing more and more how quickly time goes by and how fast my kids are growing. I really love being a mom! I love being Kyle's wife.

Tomorrow we are expecting more severe weather. This coming after a beautiful week of warmer temperatures. My 10 year old bet my husband that there would be no more snow. After living here almost his whole life, he still doesn't quite understand Michigan winters. I think him losing the bet will mean he has to wear a t-shirt to school with my husband's picture on it. That makes me laugh thinking of it. Although I don't even think Pierce will care. He is so unaffected when it comes to his appearance.

My house needs some attention. Maybe I will spend some time on my laundry pile tomorrow. The one great thing about folding a mountain of laundry is I can watch an entire movie while I fold. It literally takes me that long. Sometimes 2 movies! Laundry is not my forte. My basement also could use some airing out after the boys had a sleepover last night. When I walked down the basement stairs, the overwhelming smell of "boy" hit me and it was not pleasant. Dirty socks and sweat...yuck! :)

This is about all I have to report right now. I am quite sure there will be more to report at the end of this coming week. Until then I will keep surfing the net reading other people's blogs :)

Today was...

2011-01-31T20:09:00.000-08:00

The boys on their way to school last year

(The pictures in this blog are just ones that make me smile. I didn't have anything new to add)

Most of today was just ....ugh! No fun! So glad to have these days so I can appreciate the good ones when they happen. And nothing major happened, but sometimes it's those little things that make the day feel long and frustrating.

First off, I got up and got ready to drop Pierce off at school and head to Meijer. Grocery shopping is sometimes fun for me, but most of the time I just want to get it over with. Today we were out of everything! I was a little prepared with a small list. By the time we were done, I had groceries falling out of the cart, it was so full! Brody was contained in the front of the cart, but there was no room for Sawyer so he "helped". He put unwanted food items in the basket just about every time I went to grab something we needed. When he wasn't doing that he would go to the shelves that were his level and push everything back as far as it would go. I'm sure the people who stock the shelves loved pulling everything back up front. Got through the checkout and, of course, I forgot three important things. I parked the cart of groceries I had purchased next to the greeter up front, ran and got my items, paid for them, got the boys jackets on....it was then I remembered Sawyer was in underwear now. I took our coats off, re-parked my cart next to the greeter and took him to the bathroom. Finally, I made it out to the car, unloaded all my groceries, strapped the kids in the car seats and....crap, I remembered I had a ten dollar coupon in my wallet that I didn't use- good only through this week and only if you spend 100 dollars. Unstrapped the kids from the car seat, walked back in (can I just tell you that it was FREEZING outside) and stood in another line to get my ten bucks! If it were a dollar or two, forget it, but this was ten dollars and I wasn't missing out on it. This was the last thing I did at Meijer today besides leave. When I have three little ones I will be going to the store with my husband or by myself. That was enough to be my workout for the day!

Crazy hair day last year

I heard from an old high school friend when I got home and she said she was visiting Michigan and wanted to stop over! Such fun, good news! Plus, I now would have some motivation to clean my house. I was so excited that, as I was backing my van out, I failed to see that I was too close to the side and I broke my side mirror off. I parked my van, ran in and started bawling as I explained to Kyle what I had done. I haven't cried that hard in a while. Usually that kind of thing wouldn't bother me so much. My husband does such a wonderful job to provide for our family and I just did something so stupid- so preventable. Thankfully he forgave me right away and said it would be okay. Maybe it was the mascara running down my face that made him so gracious- or maybe it's because he's just that great all the time :).

Someday this picture will become very useful! :)

Got back from picking Grant up from school and found my little Sawyer covered in puke and with a bloody nose. I had 5 minutes to handle this situation before I had to pick Pierce up. One wonderful advantage of my husband working from home and a 12 year old who is pretty good with kids is during emergency situations like this, they can be a big help. Kyle called the doctor, Grant watched Sawyer in the tub and I quickly cleaned up puke off the carpet and washed blankets. I was able to leave and pick Pierce up on time. Whew!

My friend, Heidi, arrived with her two kids at the same time Kyle took Sawyer to the doctor. It was so good catching up with her and playing with her two little boys. Kyle got back and let us know that Sawyer had strep. I was wondering if Heidi, then, regretted coming, but she said she was glad she came. Sure hope her kids stay healthy!

Brody missed this pic, but I still love this. I love my boys!

The night ended with a family movie- Despicable Me. Very cute. Grant and Pierce almost finished it without fighting over something, which resulted in them heading to bed before the movie was over. Luckily for them, they had seen it before. I am sure it surprises people to think two brothers know exactly how to aggravate each other at exactly the perfect moment. :) It is usually over the dumbest things. I love doing things as a family! Even if they end up not going as I plan.

Pierce thought it would be cool if he could lean on the Washington monument. :)

We are supposed to get a big snowstorm on Wednesday! I'm excited for it for a few reasons. A) My husband works from home so he doesn't have to drive in it. B) We drive the kids every morning to school starting at 7:00 so we could sleep in just a little longer and stay in our p.j.s. Actually we are usually in our pajamas. C) I love spending unexpected days like snow days with the boys. I'm thinking we'll back Christmas cookies :) D) Snow days are still as exciting for me as when I woke up when I was little and found out I didn't have to go to school! Those are my reasons, but I understand that I'm not the only one in Michigan and some of those people who live here with me are very sick of snow and winter!

Just an update on our life right now

The Joy of the Lord is My Strength

2011-01-18T21:32:00.000-08:00

Brody's smiling for the camera. I love how he closes his eyes :)

I was reading a book and came upon this verse. The book says when we aren't joyful we are weak because the Joy of the Lord is our strength. I had never thought about it like that I guess. And when the book says "joyful" it's not like they are saying we must be happy all the time. That would be impossible because we are only human. I think having peace in that God cares for us, that he loves us, and that he has a plan for us far better than we could plan ourselves should give us great joy. I love God! I trust God and trust his plan, but sometimes it is so hard for it to sink in to my heart. Why? I don't understand how I couldn't feel this with all of my heart after he has shown me time after time how true this is. He loved me enough to even give me the freedom to choose my own path and it was horrible. Without God in complete control over my life, it just isn't as good as it could be. In fact, it is a mess! I know from first hand experience. Yet, he loved me so much still, that after I messed up my life, he welcomed me home, back into his arms and picked up the pieces.

Smiling for me (finally) and practicing for Disney with his Pluto hat.

So this week I choose to be joyful for all he has done and blessed me with. I will enjoy where I am while I'm getting to where I am going. So, although we are still "trying" for our next little family member, I am joyful that God has given me this time with my children and my husband. I believe that God will bless us with more children, which I have said before, and I will hold on to his promise and enjoy today. Sometimes I feel like I am in high school, begging my parents to let me go somewhere they absolutely will not let me go. There is nothing I can say or do to make them change their mind. The same is true with God. I can beg him to please allow me to have my way, but thankfully he loves me too much to "give in" to my begging. Nothing I can say can change what God is doing because I've given my life to him. And I WANT God to make the decisions for my life. I want his perfect plan for my life. Because what he has for me is best for me and my family. He knows my next child by name already! He knows the perfect time to bring them into our lives. He not only cares abundantly for me- but he cares the same for my children! All of them. How could I not surrender everything to his control? How could I not be God's completely?

My husband tonight while doing the dishes for me. He has had this outfit on all day. I love him so much!

Of course there will be days I won't feel so strong, or joyful, but when I look at truth I will see God and his hand on my life. I will see that he hasn't left me. That he is right next to me through every tear and frustration- for all my joy and through my pain...big or small.

2011-01-15T20:01:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas! Love, The Hoffs....oh wait- we are already well into January. It's been a while since I have blogged. I think all my blogs are starting out with that same sentence. I really do have the best intentions. The holidays made things a little crazier so that could be my excuse this time. I will have to think of something better for next time. We did have a wonderful holiday season.

Christmas 2010 was spent in Memphis, TN with my mom and her family. It was wonderful. It even warmed up at the end of the week for us. We had a few days where we didn't even need jackets and that is definitely a nice change for us Northerners. My mom took the whole week off work so we could spend some quality time together. Oh my mom! There are so many wonderful things about her. In the morning I love the aroma of coffee that fills her house. That is one smell that will always remind me of my mom and my childhood. Funny that I don't like the taste of coffee, only the smell.

Other things I love about my mom are her love for thrift stores. Whenever I am with her I find good deals or get some interesting ideas. This last time I was there I bought some fun hats and recently made my girlfriends wear them out to eat :). Thrift store shopping is one of my favorite things to do in Memphis.

Another fun thing we seem to do when I am with my mom (and my little sister) is jumping pictures. My mom is getting pretty good at them too. She probably can't believe she gets sucked into doing them. It has now become a tradition and I hope it continues. They never get old for me to go back and look at. Maybe someday I will do jumping pictures with my kids when they come to visit :)

My mom can be goofy and funny and embarrassing, but my mom also has some of the best advice and words of wisdom. She is encouraging and inspiring. She loves with a very big, giving heart. She is a hard worker. Put her in a job and I guarantee she will do it 110%. Sure, my mom has her faults but her strengths far outweigh them. She is also a very loving "mimi".

Back in Mchigan. Things are the "usual" busy here. The big boys are back in school and Sawyer is now potty trained, well, for the most part. Brody makes cleaning almost impossible. He messes up faster than I can pick up. There are days when he takes my motivation away completely. When that happens, I scoop him up in my arms and snuggle with him on the couch. I do not look forward to the day where he grows too big for that. Grandma and Papa are visiting this weekend! We are so happy about that! Since I have the BEST in-laws in the world it's going to be a great weekend.

Until the next blog...

A little something...

2010-11-12T20:57:00.000-08:00

Today I went into Halmark and saw this ornament. I wasn't looking for any ornaments. I think we have about 400 already on our big tree alone. I just thought this was a perfect "little something" to remember the baby we lost this year. A little angel, just like our baby. I'm not trying to be too dramatic. I like to stay positive, while still allowing enough room to grieve. I try not to think about that pregnancy too much or remember how far along I would be. I feel pretty good about the whole process. I am thankful for my body and its ability to have carried my four healthy boys. I am also thankful for a God who knows me and loves me. I feel like things are going pretty well for me emotionally. Last week I felt a little off just not knowing what was happening with my body as it was still recovering from the miscarriage. I went to the doctor and had everything checked out. It's looking good and right on track even though it feels like it has taken forever.

Otherwise, not much going on around here. We went to the Children's museum and had fun taking some pictures in the kalidescope. My boys are so much fun! We spent the week getting up most of our Christmas decorations. Every morning, before I get up, Pierce plugs in all the tree and garland lights. It feels very cozy when I finally make my way downstairs. I love getting ready for Christmas and I love, even more, that my kids love it too!

"Papa and Grandma" were in town last weekend. What a blessing to have them here! The boys LOVE having them to play with all day long. I am so glad we have them as family! I know I am a little bias, but I feel like I have the best in-laws in the world!

That's about it for now! Hoping to have something fun to report soon!

Just another day...

2010-10-24T22:29:00.000-07:00

My family

I haven't blogged in a while and I have had a lot on my mind, but not a whole lot worth writing about honestly. However, I did plan on blogging more frequently when I started this. That means that today I will blog and as uninteresting and unoriginal as it might be, I've decided to write about my day.

One of my favorite things, recently, is getting up on Sunday mornings and getting to be on the worship team, at church, with my husband. I love to worship by singing and doing it as a family is even better! This morning Kyle and I woke up early, got showered and dressed, packed a bag for the little guys, woke them up and got them dressed, made sure they had breakfast (and made sure I had my Diet Coke) and we were out the door by 7:30, heading to church. We were supposed to be there at 7:30, but I thought we did pretty well. Being part of a church family has been a huge blessing to us. While we were up on stage during second service, I looked down at my 2 year old and he was raising his hand, praising God. It was like a little hug to my heart. It was a reminder how impressionable he is and how he really wants to be like mommy and daddy. That single moment had to be my favorite of the whole morning. The sermon was good too! My heart had been a little heavy the past couple days. I know God has the perfect plan, I know he loves me more than anyone else, I know he cares for me today and always, I know, I know, I know....but today I just didn't feel it in my heart. I prayed. I worshiped. God is awesome and capable of handling me even when I am stubborn and want things the way I want them. It's so funny that I still struggle with letting go of my plans when I've seen how they've turned out without seeking God for the right direction.

Brody my little fireman.

After church it was lunch. The boys were hungry and tired and we were a little short on cash, so McDonald's was the restaurant of choice. Luckily I never watched all those videos people were posting on Facebook about how McDonald's burgers are made or how they don't digest (?) well and can live in your stomach forever. Denial? Maybe, but I'm okay with that because we don't frequent McDonald's, except for sweet tea, and don't most Americans experience McDonald's every once in a while? Either way, the boys loved it and ate well.

Sawyer and "the look"

Naptime and football was next at the Hoff home. Two things that go so well with a Sunday afternoon. I would have stayed to enjoy them both had I not decided to go hit up a couple bargain stores. I saw an opportunity to get out of the house without kids, so I took it. I found some great deals and was able to get some Christmas shopping done. At Aldi I bought an 18 pound turkey and at the Meijer outlet store I and found all sorts of things. Next, I hit up the Dollar Tree for some ovulation and pregnancy tests. I got so excited that I only have to spend a dollar on each one, before I knew it I put way too many in my cart. Okay, so maybe I had 10 ovulation tests and 5 pregnancy tests. I personally didn't think that's extreme but when I got up to the register, with about 10 people behind me, the cashier smiles and says loudly "Is this some kind of joke or something?". At this moment I even think I am weird, but we ended up having a long conversation about how Wal-mart also has good deals on pregnancy tests and how my husband and I are going to be trying for our next one. Now everyone who was waiting in line also knows I will be having sex this month in order to "try" for our next baby. It was a little awkward and I was so glad to get out of there.

My next stop was to the Christian book store for a book I never ended up finding, but I did find some great Christmas CD's. While I was checking out I started looking through the different pictures of kids that are looking for sponsors through World Vision. Kyle and I had talked about sponsoring one before, but I hadn't felt peace about it before. Today I did. I asked her who I should pick and she handed me the picture of a little boy named "Danny" from Bolivia. He had just had a birthday and she really wanted him to have a special birthday present. I felt peace about sponsoring this little boy. I am excited to write him letters and for the boys too as well. He doesn't have any siblings. He's so cute I just want to squeeze his cheeks! We've already prayed for him a lot today. At Christmas time we get a catalog so that we can buy him some chickens or a goat for a present! I guess that is a big deal there! We're excited to bless him and pray for him, so I guess you could kind of say he's the newest member to our family. The cashier told me we were the first person to sponsor a child there in over 30 days!

Once I got home, I started downloading and listening to my new Christmas music. I loved it! I get so excited for Christmas. I really don't know why. It is, by far, my favorite time of year. My mom made a lot of little traditions around Christmas so special. They weren't expensive traditions, just memories we'd make year after year. They are the most precious of all my childhood memories. Baking cookies, decorating, Christmas caroling (which I did hate sometimes), Favorite holiday movies, hot chocolate in the mornings before school...all small but wonderful! I try and hold off even listening to the music before November, but this week I just couldn't. My Pandora radio was on almost every day playing Christmas classics. At least I wasn't decorating....but then I just had this little urge to pull out a few things.

And then the urge got a little bigger, but not too big. Oh my husband is just wonderful! He understands and loves me and puts up with me, and sometimes I even think he likes it a little.

Our play room. The fish were there already.

Now I do know this is not normal, and this is the earliest I have ever decorated. I have a lot more decorating to do, but I will wait until November. I did all this while we watched the Vikings lose to the Packers. I don't know how the game ended because I was too stressed to watch. My husband wanted to tell me about it, but I just couldn't bring myself to hear about it. I really did have a wonderful day! Looking forward to this week. My numbers are back to 0 so we have the "OK" to start trying again for our next baby. We've been praying for God to prepare our hearts for what he has planned for us. Hoping that his plans for us will mean a baby sooner than later. I know whatever his plan is, it is perfect.

Random pic to make my blog less boring.

How I Met My Husband...

2010-10-06T21:21:00.000-07:00

I was just thinking this morning how blessed I am to have Kyle in my life. He is so much more than I could have dreamed my husband would be. Sure, there are times when we have disagreements and lots of times where he does things I think are a little weird. My life is not perfect, by any means, but God has blessed me in so many ways by allowing Kyle to be my husband.

I was thinking about when we first met. We actually met because of myspace! My best friends here were his friends as well. Kyle lived in Minnesota so he was a couple states away but kept in touch with our friends enough for me to have noticed him. I didn’t think much about it, but I thought it was cool he was from Minnesota since I grew up there. Oh, and I thought he was cute too, but that is as far as I took it. I had decided I wasn’t going to date anymore until I was sure God was making it very clear that it was okay. Little did I know, Kyle was already pursuing me and was planning a trip to Michigan to meet me on my birthday, if God would allow it. And little did he know what he was getting into. J

Me and my bible study on my birthday the night I met Kyle. Only picture I have from that night :)

So August 18, 2006 my bible study took me out to Logan’s for my birthday. I didn’t even know Kyle was already in town and was staying at Carol and Isaiah’s (our mutual myspace friends). I told Carol, during my birthday party, that I was going to sleep at her house, which I really liked to do as often as I could. They were my family here. Carol was like my sister and that meant I could just invite myself over for a sleepover. Carol’s response surprised me. She said she had to check with Isaiah first. I thought that was interesting, but Isaiah said yes and I didn’t even think about it again that night. We pulled into Carol’s driveway and there is where I met my future husband. I remember getting out of the car and meeting Kyle and then I said “Do you want to see my presents?” I now know that Kyle thought, at that moment, I was shorter than what he thought I would be and I talked more than he thought I wouldJ. It was one of the best birthdays I had so far. We played hide-and-go-seek in the dark. I remember hiding with Carol and laughing so hard I almost wet my pants. I remember having so much fun just being myself. I remember staying up late and comparing myspace pages with Kyle. We also talked about God and I remember Kyle telling me a story about Peter in the bible. That night I finally understood what Carol was telling me about me waiting for a Godly man. Not just a man that believed in God and went to church, but a man who had a real relationship with God. Kyle changed all my expectations that night for what I dreamed of for my future husband. Not once that night did I ever think it would be Kyle. That’s exactly how God wanted it to be!

Me and one of my best friends in the world, Carol- one of the reasons Kyle and I met!

I saw him one other time that weekend and when I was saying goodbye to Kyle, he handed me one of his band’s CDs (Cathode Rae). I listened to it right away and then thought maybe it would be cool if my future husband could sing and play guitar too J. Then I decided that didn’t have to be a priority but a nice bonus if God would bless me with that. I knew God had the perfect person for me, but at that moment my heart really longed to be God’s alone. I knew there would be a time where God would allow me to fall in love but I was going to be patient.

This is how little the boys were when Kyle met them.

The next week I spoke with Carol and she mentioned that she thought Kyle was interested in me. I didn’t think so at all. What on earth would a guy with a good job, who was good looking, who loved God with all his heart and was in a band (smile) want a damaged girl who had a past, had kids and who was divorced. I knew God loved me just as I was and I wasn’t ashamed anymore of the person I was. I believed I was a new person because of God’s grace and forgiveness. I loved myself again but I told Carol I didn’t think she was right on this one.

Kyle and I on my trip to Minnesota.

Kyle and I emailed each other over the month. I had a wedding to go to in Minnesota in September, so we planned to hang out there a couple days. On September 7 we had our first date, although neither one of us would dare call it a date at the time. We spent the day in downtown Minneapolis and covered a lot of areas. We went to the Keys Café at the Foshay, walked around downtown, spent time talking at Lowry Park, visited the popular Cherry Spoon, and finished it off with a little bite to eat at Noodles and Company. I remember so much of that day. I felt so comfortable with Kyle and at peace. September 7 has come to be a very significant day for us. In 2009 we had our little Brody and this past year we learned of our miscarriage on this day.

Kyle continued to pursue me the rest of the year. He visited Michigan a couple times and spent time with Grant and Pierce. There was one period where we didn’t talk for three weeks! During that time God worked in both of us to prepare us for each other. He prepared Kyle’s heart to be a husband and a father and he prepared my heart to be a wife. Kyle came to Michigan to bring in the New Year and take me to our church “prom”. That weekend we started dating but no kissing until later. We knew we were going to get married and Kyle knew when, but he didn’t tell me.

The Prom

Kyle spending time with G&P before he had to fly back to Minnesota.

Kyle with the boys on our visit.

In February, I took Grant and Pierce on a road trip to Minnesota to meet Kyle’s family. We had no idea we would be welcomed and loved the way we were. Grant and Pierce fell in love with Kyle’s family and his family’s two dogs. That same week, February 9, Kyle kissed me for the first time. No making out until the engagementJ. I didn’t have to wait too much longer because on a trip to visit my mom and her family, April 9, Kyle proposed to me. It was perfect…rose petals and candles everywhere. I was so surprised too!

Some of Kyle's wonderful family!

Kyle with the boys- the first week they met Fridley.

The proposal

The next four months were a whirlwind, but they were wonderful! I had my dream wedding and married my dream man on August 11! Of course I left out so many details throughout this story. There were a lot of little miracles that happened along the way. I have saved all the myspace emails and reread them often. Now that I know Kyle I can see little things in those early emails that let me know he liked me a lotJ. God’s timing is perfect. His grace is amazing! I didn’t deserve any of what God gave me, but he gave me more than I could have dreamed. I love my hot husband! Thanks God!!

Me and Kyle being me and Kyle.

I felt like the worst parent...

2010-09-25T20:39:00.000-07:00

Even though I know I am not, and even though sometimes things happen and I have no control over them. I only felt that way for a second but it was enough. I love my boys more than anything (besides my husband) in the world and hate when I can’t protect them from even the smallest of things. We were heading to view many pieces of artwork at the Grand Rapids Artprize. An art show where over 1200 artists find venues in the area to display their work. It’s pretty amazing. We were getting our stroller out of the van, loading up the stroller and getting warmer jackets on for the 50 degree weather. Brody has been walking for almost a month now, but he’s gotten really good at walking this past week. It took him a while to walk in pants because he learned most of his steps in the summer. He spent half the summer in shorts, the other half he was either in a diaper or naked, which seems to happen a lot around here. He conquered the pants but still has to learn how to walk in real shoes. Those little leather, slipper-like shoes is what he has been wearing. Any little thing can throw Brody off balance. I wonder why I didn't think anything of putting a giant, padded winter coat on him. I forget that even though I am a mother of four, sometimes things still seem brand new to me too!

Five minutes into our adventure and Brody's face met the concrete. The jacket added so much more weight, Brody couldn't lift his hands to break his fall. All we heard was a thud and then tears! He instantly had a huge egg on his forhead and a scrape on and under his eye. I scooped him up in my arms and ran him to the first building I could see that might have an icepack. I was frustrated with myself, but since Kyle was standing next to him I felt an urge to blame him. I held my tongue. I think I gave him a frustrated look, but it was absolutely not his fault. When something breaks my heart, my first reaction is to want to blame someone else. I am glad God forgives even little things that go on inside of me that no one else sees. He's the best of all fathers!

I ran to the Children's Museum. They felt so bad for Brody and ran and got him an icepack, all along commenting on how tough Brody was for not even crying one time while we were there. We are members there so we stayed a while. Brody didn’t like the ice pack, but I don't really know one kid that does. He has a pretty good “boo boo” to show for his adventure in the medium city of Grand Rapids.

The rest of the day was great! Being in downtown when so much is going on is lots of fun. All the people created lots of energy. So many things to look at! Kyle commented on how many of his Minnesota friends would love Artprize, and how a few would be good contenders. Sawyer and Brody were snuggled in their stroller taking all the different pieces of art into their little minds. With all the venues to look at they were mostly excited about the tractors, trucks and buses that passed by on the streets. Oh, and the river! Sawyer loved seeing the river.

We got the best deal for lunch at Quiznos- we think anyway! All four of us had meals, four drinks, chips, cookies…all for 13 bucks! Gotta love any place where kids eat free!

After lunch we saw more exhibits. We even got to go to the Public Museum. Kyle and I had our wedding reception there just over 3 years ago. We walked around and let the boys ride the caraousel just like we did the night of our wedding. They smiled many smiles going up and down. Sawyer dimples are such a joy to me. I stared at him and told myself to remember this moment while he is so happy just riding a wooden horse. We told them how the last time we rode that caraousel we had just gotten married. They were too young to really understand, but it was still fun for us to tell them. I'm sure someday they will get sick of hearing that story, but I won't ever be tired of telling them. :)

Brody doesn't like to sit still, so he's waiting for it to move :)

Love those dimples. Sawyer's smile is wonderful when it's real.

Finally we got to walk across the bridge and under the bridge, all so we could be closer to the river. Sawyer's one request when we told him we were going downtown. We took lots of pictures!

Still working on the posed smile. See what I mean about his real vs. fake smile?

We got to see so many different pieces of work while we were down looking around. Here are a few of the many we saw.

A giant penny made out of 80,000 actual pennies.

There were pianos set up all over, decorated differently, for enjoyment to those who wanted to play

Amazing that this is made from airsoft gun pellets.

The time we spent there was fun however, we were ready to leave after a few hours. On our way home the boys got a quick nap, but we woke them up as soon as we got home so that they would have an early bed time. As much as we love our children, we really enjoy having a night, every once and a while, to spend together watching movies, without interruption.

Tomorrow we get to worship at church. Kyle is playing and I am singing. We love being a part of our church. Football is in the afternoon where we are expecting the Vikings to crush the Detroit Lions. Monday I get my HCG levels checked again. Praying they keep dropping quickly! When they are fewer than 5 we can start actively trying again! We are ready to begin that journey again!

He Made Me a Mommy

2010-09-21T22:23:00.000-07:00

September 22, 1998 my water broke early in the morning and I gave birth to my first born, Grant. I was only 20 years old. I had never experienced such joy and love. He was perfect in every way.

He made me a mommy. He made my parents grandparents (Mimi and Boppa) and he made my sisters aunts. He has taught me so much in his 12 years. He taught me how to laugh at all the little things, how to have purpose in the life I was living, how to be a mother. Mostly, he taught me how to love, a love beyond any measure. I did not know how much it would change my life. Had I known, it would have probably scared me in a wonderful way. No one could have explained how I would instantly love him when I first held him in my arms or how I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night because I would check on him every five minutes to make sure he was breathing. I marveled at every first he had and cried at some of his lasts.

Grant’s first girlfriend was Snow White J. He said he was going to marry her. That still makes me smile. When he met his first babysitter it was the first time I had heard him talk about maybe marrying someone else. She lived in our neighborhood and one day he decided he might see her if he went to the neighborhood park. I could see him out my kitchen window. It was really cold and we had just moved from Florida to Michigan. He had his teenage mutant ninja turtle plastic nun chucks with him and he practiced moves while he waited. Finally I saw him making his way home. He walked in the door and tears were streaming down his face. I asked him what was wrong and he said “I never saw her, I got my nun chucks stuck up in the tree, and this white stuff keeps hitting me in the head”. It had started to snow and he hadn’t experienced Michigan winters yet. I smiled and hugged him and wanted to hold onto that sweet moment forever.

Grant has a wonderful sense of humor. As he gets older I have to remind him what is appropriate and what isn’t, even though he already knows. He loves to tell stories and sometimes he embellishes them a little. He also loves to embarrass me and he will whenever he can. One day, when Grant was about 7, we were walking downtown and we had just gotten ice cream. I remember thinking it was a perfect day. I had a sun dress on and the boys were walking behind me slowly licking their cones when a strong wind came and blew my dress up in the back. I quickly pushed the back down and the front blew up. I was screaming and finally leaned up against the building until all the cars passed and the wind died down. Grant and Pierce were laughing so hard. That was the only enjoyment I could get out of the whole experience. Grant proceeded to tell that story to every single person we met, within the first two seconds of meeting them, for years.

Some of the hardest times I went through, Grant held my hand. One day I remember sitting at dinner with him and I started crying. He said “Mommy, everything is going to be all right because God will take care of you”. That was one of the proudest moments I had experienced with him. I must have done something right to have taught him that and now he was reminding me at a time when I needed to hear it most. He was so right! Grant has grown a lot in his faith in the past few years. We talk about how important it is to pray about everything and even talk about praying where God wants him for college. Ugh! I can’t even think about how quickly that will be here.

When I was engaged to Kyle, Grant wanted to be involved in as many wedding plans as I would let him. They were excited for me to marry into Kyle’s family, and to gain two dogs (Uncles Kip and Fridley) added to the excitement. They love their Papa Randy and Grandma Shelley, Aunt Lindsay (who Grant had a crush on when he first met her) and Uncle Brad, and the many other aunts, uncles, and cousins. Love took us all in when the Hoff family adopted us!

He is a wonderful big brother. He loves his brothers and he takes very good care of them. He fights a lot with Pierce (10) but he is the first to defend him in many situations. He plays games with Sawyer (2) and takes him on walks. Brody (1) loves when Grant babysits him and gives him baths. He’s not always excited to help out with them, and he certainly does not have any interest in changing diapers, but he demonstrates how much he loves all three of his brothers often and every day.

When he had his first day of kindergarten I remember fighting back tears, as many moms do. Now he is in junior high and I find myself still fighting tears when the first day of school comes around. He has a big heart and loves to give. I could not be prouder of my not so little boy.

Grant,

Thank you for all you do! I love you more than you could ever imagine. Someday you'll drive by the house of the girl/boy your children like and honk your horn too, just like my mom did to embarrass me. I'm so glad God gave me you as my first born. I hope you dance...just kidding, that would be really cheesy if I were serious. Hope you have a wonderful Happy Birthday!!

Love, Mom

God has you where he wants you

2010-09-19T21:12:00.000-07:00

The best words I have heard all day “God has you where he wants you”. Honestly, I have had such a mix of emotions today. Excitement, sadness, peace, unsettled, giddy, frustrated, and loved…all these things I have felt at least once today. And it is not just because the Vikings lost again today, although, don’t get me wrong, that did bother me. I’m beginning to wonder why I decided to become a fan of my favorite team. I’m sure some of my rollercoaster of emotions has to do with my hormones still returning after my miscarriage not even two weeks ago. Feeling loved today had much to do with my wonderful friends and lovely neighbors, starting out at church, continued with a football get-together and ending with friends for dinner, kids in the tub, and a movie.

Sadness was felt when I thought of not being pregnant anymore and while I was putting make-up on I held my mascara in my hand for five minutes before I put it on. I was too afraid that once I put it on, the tears I could feel welling up behind my eyes would pour out and leave black streaks down my face. Surprisingly, I really hadn’t thought about it a lot the past couple days but I sure was at this point.

I was giddy and excited, practically skipping around a house today that might be put up for sale, dreaming of my friend moving in and how we could see each other whenever we wanted or trade off cooking for each other’s families…oh that would be fun, but God would have to do a lot to work that out.

Peace was felt when I read Zephaniah 3:17 “ For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs”. Oh to be reminded that God will take delight in me and will calm all my fears! How could that not bring me peace?

Then several hours later being unsettled and frustrated set in and I am not even sure why, but I could feel it in my chest. Fighting to remind myself that God’s timing is perfect and he loves me more than enough that he will allow my heart to hurt because he has something better for me, but I was losing the fight. I sat at my dinner table chair with my knees tucked up under my neck and sighed a big disheartened sigh. My husband looked at me and I started saying stuff like “I know God…but why” or “I just don’t understand how…” Sometimes I am so much better at fighting this and my heart is more guarded, but tonight I let the enemy take a couple shots at me. This is when my husband said “That’s the enemy. Don’t let him do that. The reason he is doing that is because God has you right where he wants you. He has a plan for us and we are being obedient. We are right where God wants us”. WOW! That’s all I needed to hear. I felt a weight lifted off me. I felt so encouraged and alive again! God has a plan for me! I have a relationship with God and he cares for me! That’s cool! I feel loved all over again today!

Sugar Packet

2010-09-17T22:30:00.000-07:00

Brody Tanner
1 year

On September 7, a year ago my sweet little Brody entered our lives. He came exactly three weeks early and has been the sweetest little boy since that very day. When we found out I was pregnant with him we were surprised but so thrilled. My husband wrote a song before he met me and it’s my favorite one. It’s called “Sugar Packet”. Some of the lyrics are “My sugar packet leaves my situation sweet. I’ll take two sprinkles please, relieves my misery”. Brody is my little sugar packet. He makes my life so much sweeter. When I’m having a bad day I snuggle up next to him and kiss his extra long eyelashes. It’s like two shakes of sweetness sprinkled on my day. Shortly after he was born a little red mark appeared near his right eyebrow. It grew quickly and we discovered it was a hemangioma.

2 weeks

He also had a larger one on his ankle. It’s a birthmark, but it doesn’t stay around forever. Because of its position and how rapidly it was growing, we were sent to a plastic surgeon and pediatric oncologist. A hemangioma is a tumor consistent of a cluster of blood vessels, most of the time raised up off the skin. It started to grow toward his eye so he had an MRI to rule out growth on the brain and behind the eye. Thankfully it was all superficial and he was able to have two laser surgeries. After the first surgery his ankle was back to normal.

2 months

The one on his eye is starting to change color which means it is starting to regress. As his parents, we don’t even see it anymore. It is part of who he is. We will definitely be glad when it is gone but mostly because of the comments and looks he receives. He doesn’t notice them now and certainly doesn’t care, but if it is still there when he starts to school he probably will. It doesn’t bother me when people ask questions or stare at him for a bit. We expect that, especially with children, but there have been some adults who are either uneducated or just plain rude.

7 months

One of my dad’s best friends took his first look at Brody asked what it was then said “well, it’s ugly…but at least it goes away!” I didn’t even know what to say. I was shocked that he would say that about my precious little baby. How could he see Brody’s beautiful smile and big brown eyes complimented by his magnificent eyelashes if he couldn’t even see past the mark on his face? One boy who was about 8 or 9 came up and said very loudly “Ooooh! What is that? It’s nasty!”.

10 months

It makes me wonder if others only see that as well, but then I remember that God doesn’t make mistakes. He created my child perfectly for us. He created Brody exactly the way he intended, hemangioma and all. And we praise God for doing such a wonderful job!

And So It Begins...

2010-09-16T20:11:00.000-07:00

August 15, 2010

Here I am, writing my first blog. I don’t think I ever thought I would write a blog. My twin sister has one and she does it well, so that seemed good enough for me. I would live vicariously through her blog posts. Then I realized I had things I wanted to write. I don’t know if anyone will even care to read my opinions or what is going on in my life. I am sure I won’t write as eloquently as my sister. However, my story is my own and I’ve decided to share the little bit there is to share.

I start off by saying I am happy. I have a beautiful family and a husband who loves me. Although I never thought I would be the mother to four wonderful, energetic boys (in fact, I thought I would surely end up with all girls as my mother had…thank goodness God is in control and knows what I can handle) I love my life. Sometimes it is overwhelming and there are times I take a shower just so I can have a break from everyone, but I truly feel so blessed.

Here are my boys! They are my heart! This week my two oldest are at camp for the first time. There is a website we can go to for pictures they are posting, but I have only seen one of my kids from a distance. I tried to look at his face thinking that would somehow tell me if he was having a good time. Though some pictures speak a thousand words, these pictures only left me wondering if they needed me to tuck them in at night, or if they had showered and brushed their teeth. So many firsts this year for them and time is flying by as it tends to do. Grant starts Jr. High in just a few weeks! Orientation is already next week. I think he is more ready for it than I am. Reading the information packet I gasped. It speaks of kids being suspended for drugs and alcohol- not yet! I am not ready for my kids to be exposed to all of those things yet. Thankfully I have given my children to the Lord. That doesn’t mean I won’t worry, but I sure will try hard to put all my trust in God and know that He is a much better protector than I am.

September 14, 2010

When I first started this blog, almost a whole month ago, I was going to post it as soon as I could announce our newest pregnancy. I thought it would be a great way to start a blog…a new life, one we’d prayed for and planned for, one we were so excited for when we found out about it on our anniversary…I was waiting until we had our ultra-sound so we could see the heart beat and feel safe to announce it. Sadly, when we went in on the 7^th, we found no baby in the sac. We were heartbroken. Our two youngest were with us during the ultra sound, on my youngest first birthday. It might sound funny to be glad to have two toddlers with us, but having my little ones there comforted me through my tears. I am so blessed and I know this. I have reminded myself of all my blessings. Being thankful for the ability to have been able to carry children in my womb did not take my broken heart away for the loss of the child we already planned so much for. The following day I had a D&C. I did pretty well the first couple days, but have cried many times off and on since then. I was 7.5 weeks along. I was nauseous, exhausted and peeing five times a night already. After having four children my stomach popped right back out and I was excited to be showing. Now I am trying to fit back into my clothes. It has yet to be a week so I am sure all that will fall into place. I am not angry. The past several days I have heard of friend’s pregnancies and seen mothers holding their newborns and I am happy for them. I just can’t help but wonder when we can start trying again, when I will be pregnant again, will everything go well? Before Kyle and I married, I had been told by doctors I may never be able to have more children. I was prepared for that. Kyle was too. A month after we married we were going to talk with the doctor about our options and I was already pregnant with Sawyer! Then Brody came as another surprise while I was actively nursing Sawyer. So blessed by God we are by our little miracles. God has laid it on our hearts to have more children and I pray that is his will for our life. If I ever feel overwhelmed I remember that God will take care of me. He’s shown me so many times that he loves me and cares about every tear I cry.

Tomorrow I go back to the doctor for blood work and an ultra sound. I’m taking medicine for five days to help get rid of anything else that may be left over from the D&C and then also medicine for a possible infection. I will be so glad when this is over and I can stop thinking about the past and start thinking about happier thingsJ. My husband has been amazing through all of this. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world when it comes to him! God is amazing with his timing and his blessings when we are obedient.

Here is us 3 years ago on our wedding day- obviously J. I could not wait to be his wife and every day I love him even more!

So this is my blog! My very first entry and I hope to just share what is on my heart and to share what it’s like to be a mom in a house with all boys. Some days are boring and uneventful but there are definitely enough days with more action than I would probably wish for. It is all a blessing, the good and the bad.